Friday, October 15, 2010

Book Review - Porn Nation: Conquering America's #1 Addiction

Michael Leahy starts his book off with his own personal addictive issues to sex and pornography that he had, beginning with the root of when he first encountered pornography and masturbation up through his internet pornography obsession and eventual affair. He mentions that he had a constant need to feed his addiction; keeping it a secret from everyone and fooling everyone. It was really well told and interesting to learn of his perspective of the person he used to be.

There is a chapter of the book where he included journal entries from his wife during the time that he became slightly more open with his problems. It was really amazing to read what their children experienced and how she felt throughout that time. It was definitely difficult on her, and sadly ended in a divorce.

He ends the first half of this book about how he was able to escape his 30 year addiction through Jesus' help, after deciding he would end his life - but instead decided to start a new life right as he was preparing to end it. He explains the law of increase/decrease "What you feed grows, and what you starve dies"; the more that he would be around a sense of community of godly people, to pursue his relationship with Jesus, and work on fixing the broken relationships he had - the less he would be interested in his pornography. He has been free from his bondage, but it took a lot of work in starving what he constantly fed for thirty years, while neglecting the important things in life like his relationship with Christ and relationship with his family and friends.

-"...as a sex addict feeds his lustful desires what they long for-sexual images, thoughts, fantasies, and experiences-his sexual compulsivity grows.  Feed your sexual impulses with sexual experiences, and your sexual impulsiveness and acting-out behaviors increase." 
-"...as you're feeding lust and watching it grow, you're also starving love and watching it die.  Feed fantasy relationships, and your fantasy world grows.  But in the process, you are starving real relationships, and they will begin to die.  Feed yourself a steady diet of pornography, and you'll increasingly view women as degraded sex objects-you'll sexualize and objectify all women.  And in the process of doing that, you'll have fewer and fewer thoughts and images representing a healthy view of women as caring, loving, feeling individuals worthy of your admiration and respect.  As you starve your mind of those healthy images of women, the idea or concept of women being anything but sex objects continues to die and fade away." 
-"...For instance, instead of  'feeding' myself sexual images from cable TV or the internet, I'd 'starve' myself of them.  And if I found that I was 'starving' myself of healthy relationships by isolating, I would look for opportunities to 'feed' myself by getting more socially involved."


The second half of the book is where he talks about the general statistics and what the mass majority of porn and sexual addicts go through, including the "sex generation" of kids today. I'd like to share a bit of what stood out most in this second half to me (he does have everything cited as well throughout this section).

-"The amount of sexual content on basic cable and network television found that the number of sex scenes nearly doubled between 1998 and 2005."
-"One recent study on teens found that watching sex on television increases the chances a teen will have sex, and may cause teens to start having sex at younger ages."
-"The average American consumer is exposed to over 14,000 sexual images and messages every year, most of which objectify women and base their value on their body shape and size."
-"The average age of first exposure to commercial pornography is somewhere between 11 and 14.  But with one in four children in nursery school (ages 3, 4, and 5) going online, that average age is sure to drop."
-"With studies showing us that over 80% of teens age 15-17 have had multiple exposure to hard-core pornography, it's hard to imagine that pornography wouldn't play some role in influencing the sexual attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of this generation."
-"Studies have shown that adolescents who watch television with high levels of sexual content are twice as likely to initiate sexual intercourse and also more likely to initiate other sexual activities.  And teens with high levels of exposure to rap videos, which often promote drug use, violence, and sex, are significantly more likely to acquire an STD."
-"27% of teens between the ages of 13 and 16 are now sexually avtive.  In fact, over half of teens ages 15-19 say they've had oral sex, and nearly half (42% of guys and 33% of girls ages 15-17) have had intercourse."
-Girls see 400 advertisements per day telling them how they should look.
-"The Kaiser Family Foundation found that 60% of teens cited that 'many of their friends had already done it' as a factor influencing their decision to have sex, and a similar number believed that their peers think having sex by age 15 is socially acceptable."
-"59% of girls age 12-19 agree that society tells them that attracting boys and acting sexy is one of the most important things girls can do."


This quote especially stood out to me.
"So we trade our history of sexual conservatism and naivety for a new kind of sexual freedom and worldly awareness that commercializes sexuality and turns it into a form of self-abuse.  And we look around to see if innocence still exists, all we find are 'barely legal' porn sites and girls 'going wild' for their first time"

The rest of the book discusses how to recognize if you have a sexual addiction, how to approach or admit it, what to do if you do have one, and what you can do to help it. It also gives a lot of information of how the brain works and how the addictions can grow or be fixed in a healthy way.

"As pornography repeatedly triggers intense sexual arousal, our brain produces more and more dopamine, keeping us trapped in an intense cycle that mimics the early stages of infatuation, romance, and lovesickness.  Overstimulate the brain with dopamine long and often enough, and the brain will adapt by increasing its tolerance levels.  The result of increased tolerance is desensitization, similar to what an alcoholic or drug addict experiences after repeated use and abuse of their drug of choice."

"As long as the relationship between pornographic sexual stimulation and experiencing sexual satisfaction continues, the use of artificial sexual stimulants like pornography and out-of-bounds sexual behaviors (prostitutes, strip clubs, massage parlors, etc) will only serve to increase their sexual compulsivity."

Overall I truly enjoyed reading and learning from Michael Leahy's experience and research on the subject. He goes to various college campuses to discuss and debate with former porn-star Ron Jeremy quite often (which he also talks about in a whole chapter at the end of the book, which was quite interesting to read). It is amazing to see how God can transform and help anyone out of such a long-stemmed addiction. I rate this book with 4 out of 5 stars!

6 comments:

  1. Thanks for the review. I am definitely putting this book on my reading list.
    I was once told that a behavior (like watching pornography) that is tolerated by one generation is accepted in the next and embraced by the following generation. Nothing could be more true in the case of pornography. What I find mortifying is 10-15 years ago, viewing pornography with your spouse was labeled as "therapeutic" in the secular marital counseling community. It should be no surprise that this has become such an epidemic

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  2. Great review! Definitely something I'll have to check out.

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  3. This is a great review and thanks for sharing it. Unfortunately like most addictions, pornography is something that can only be addressed and handled properly when the person participating is ready and willing to put aside their sinful deeds. I'm glad there our books out there like to this help those who are looking for the help.

    But my heart cries out because I know many who view porn. But I am the most disturbed because I know men who view gay porn (Am I allowed to talk about that?) I know they need help and they all refuse to admit that they have a problem. They are one of the statistics! They refuse to own up to their actions and that their behavior is unacceptable. And when I say unacceptable, I mean in general.. viewing any porn is corrupting your heart and mind. Sadly, I know all I can do is pray for them, because like them I understand how addiction is. You cannot just stop an addiction until you've willingly made that decision to "commit to quitting." If that makes sense.

    Sometimes, like how I pray that drugs will NOT become decriminalized, but become MORE outlawed.. I pray that porn will also have stricter laws enforced upon it! It's so unfortunate that in porn more than just 1 person is effected. Families are hurt, and even the people in the porn flicks are hurt. When you're having your jollies I think too many men and women alike forget that. Well, I'm on a rant now. So, Thanks Victoria for sharing this book.

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  4. Thanks for sharing :) This looks like a book worth checking out...for sure.

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  5. I think we need to be aware also that porn is nothing to the world. I am often reminded of a Friends episode where Monica gets Chandler porn for Valentine's Day. The whole episode is about how great of a girlfriend she is for getting porn. It's made light, normal, funny, something that all girlfriends and wives should consider doing.

    In (500) Days of Summer, they also have one date where they watch a porn movie and try it out in the shower. In art schools, porn is taught as a form of art. We need to be aware of these changes and guard against our hearts. This is twisted. It is heartbreaking. And people are just letting it happen.

    We should be vocal about the damaging effects of porn on individuals, couples, and children. Thank you for sharing this article/review.

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  6. Laura, yes you can mention gay porn. It really does have a big effect on a lot of men too, but I don't know much about that and haven't researched it enough. I recently read a book by a woman who went through a lot with her husband's pornography addiction and now they run (and have run since the late 80s/early 90s) their own organization to help with sexual rehabilitation. The book were loads of letters that she wrote to women who were dealing with husbands who had addictions, and some of them viewed man-on-man porn and she tried to help them too.

    Rachel, I think often times people tend to make it seem like they don't care about porn (women that is) because they know men are going to do whatever they want so they give into accepting it, but it pains them just as much. So I think while the world does seem to accept it, it doesn't really make people feel too good and feel like they lack too often in areas. This book I believe also talks about the world's views and how they think nothing is wrong about it. I agree completely with you. It is bothersome that the media helps make it acceptable.

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